Boundaries Are Self-Care

Boundaries are 100000% necessary when we are talking about self care. It's an important step that we often forget about but I am here to remind you why boundaries are necessary. Saying “no” can be hard. I know it was for me. The idea of setting boundaries came with guilt, worry about disappointing others, or fear that I would be seen as selfish. But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges to healthier, more balanced relationships. They are acts of self-care, protecting your energy, your time, and your peace.

Boundaries allow us to honor our needs while still showing up for the people and responsibilities we care about. Without them, we end up overextended, resentful, and burned out. Setting boundaries is not only an act of self-love but also a gift to the people around us because it allows us to show up as our best selves.

Step 1: Identify Where You Need Boundaries

Take a moment to reflect: Where in your life do you feel drained, resentful, or overwhelmed? It might be at work, with family, in your friendships, or even with social media. These are often the places where a boundary is needed. For me, three areas that I knew I needed to have boundaries were saying yes when I really wanted to say no, feeling obligated to answer my phone even when I didn't feel like talking and requiring people to call first before stopping by. These were the three toughest areas for me because I was a people pleaser. Now, I still care, but my needs come first, without question. I realize that if I am not at my best, I don't give my best. The same is true for you. Your boundaries may look different from mine, but you still need to identify the areas where you need to set boundaries for yourself.

Step 2: Communicate Clearly and Kindly

You don’t need a long explanation for your boundaries. A simple, firm, and kind statement is enough. Depending on who you are speaking to will determine how much of an explanation you give, if any. I found that I gave more of an explanation to those that were closest to me and to others, I kept it rather matter of fact. One thing that applied in any situation is that I was kind. Just because you say no doesn't mean you have to be unkind. It's okay that people want to include you in things, but sometimes you don't always feel up to it. You need to know that it's okay to say not. It's also okay to not feel any guilt about it. For example you can say:

• “I can’t take on that project right now.”

• “I need to leave by 8 tonight to get some rest.”

• “I don’t discuss that topic.”

• "Thank you for the invitation but I won't be able to make it this time."

• "I'd prefer to keep that private."

Step 3: Release the Guilt

Boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to people-pleasing like I was. But remember: saying “no” to something that drains you is saying “yes” to your health, your happiness, and your peace of mind. When that finally sunk in (it was definitely not immediate), everything changed for me. My "no's" became more frequent and more emphatic. The guilt started disappearing and I felt more free. In turn, when I did say "yes," I found that I enjoyed the thing I said yes to even more, because I actually wanted to do it and I wasn't doing it out of guilt or obligation.

Closing Thoughts

Boundaries are self-care in action. It is not the pretty part of self-care that people always portray, but it will bring you so much peace. Boundaries protect your energy and by default teach others how to treat you. Start small, communicate clearly, and remind yourself that honoring your needs is never ever selfish.

Affirmation for Today:
"My boundaries protect my peace and create space for the best version of me to thrive."

Journal Prompt:
"Where in my life do I need stronger boundaries, and what is one step I can take to put them in place this week?"